Dr Springhorn has been busily tinkering away since last weeks launch and is tickled pink to announce the splendiferous version 1.0.3

What’s New

  • Game Tips – Yes we know you are big enough to look after yourself and this is doubtlessly stuff you already know, but some people aren’t quite as smart and devastatingly good looking as you.
  • Gag the Doctor – Well I say! I don’t know what to say, apparently you don’t need reminding about the mission every time you go in and try again #Shhhhhhhh #GagSpringhorn

What ‘Features’ Have Been Fixed

  • ♫’You are So Beautiful..’♫ – Further testing revealed an inconsistency in the optimum beautification on certain hardware set ups, this has been rectified and now everything looks rather splendid for everyone.
  • I am Weak !! – Ok so you picked Easy because your a Feak and Weeble, we appreciate that we shouldn’t sneakily move it back to the recommended Medium.
  • Overfed Ravens – Rumours came in that Rattwurms largest Ravens had become rather cumbersome due to incorrect allocating of oil rations, after an new regime and several sackings they are now much faster and direct in their attacks, Yes we knew you would be pleased!
  • Hands on in the Hordenburg – Point, poke or jab, we all like to used a gloved hand our own way, so all the buttons will now respond however badly you treat them.

What’s Coming Next?

The SEWERS Mission
Get your wellies and a peg for your nose, as it is really rather smelly down here, but apparently there has been an infestation of CLOCKROACHES!!

It is nearly time to rip that unsightly plaster from the Game type telegraph, what exactly is Seek and Destroy anyway? well, YOU are the SteamHammer, but apparently there are others who think they are more up to the job than you…soon you will get the chance to prove them wrong!

p.s. We know the more historically savvy of you will have been utterly perplexed and in some cases incensed as to how Dr Springhorn is using a sticking plaster which allegedly was not invented until 1920, but in actual fact the patent was stolen from Obadiah.

Horndenburg Telegraphs

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